“NEVER work with your spouse…under any circumstances!” asserted my dad’s acquaintance (who worked with his wife!) when I was 9 or 10 years old. I have no recollection of the context of the conversation, but his exhortation was so sincere and impassioned, I remember it clearly over 25 years later. “But, why?” I asked my parents later. Having no experience of this themselves, they posited that perhaps it was because it didn’t allow for a healthy amount of personal space and because it left the family in a financially vulnerable position. “Yes,” I thought. “That seems like very sage advice!” And for 23 years I remembered and occasionally imparted that counsel…until I went against it, and launched a business with my husband!

What’s it like to work with your partner? In this blog I’ll share our experiences and why we think it’s DEFINITELY not an idea to immediately dismiss.

Working together- not as impossible as it may seem

Invariably, when I tell people that I work with my husband, people’s first response is “I could NEVER do that!” however two and a half years ago, we were saying exactly the same thing!

When Richard launched our commercial insurance brokerage he registered me as Company Secretary. This was primarily a risk management strategy- the role allowed me financial control of the organisation should Richard become incapacitated. But, as our company values include integrity, honesty and transparency, it didn’t sit well with us that I would be CoSec in name only- if we wanted the security brought by the title, I had to step up and take the responsibility, as intimidating and alien it seemed to me. In many ways, I was a very reluctant business partner. But it was the right move for our family and has turned out to be one of the best decision we’ve made as a couple.

Compatibility and complementarity

Richard and I are like chalk and cheese. He is a man of few words and I’m hard to stop talking. I like to talk things through and he likes to get things done. He likes organised chaos and I like order. Over the years, we’ve learned to find common ground and in many ways we have adapted and changed to accommodate each other. But, wouldn’t running a business with two such disparate people be a recipe for disaster, conflict and discord?!

Launching the business, however, has had a remarkably positive impact on our relationship.

Firstly, watching Richard work has resulted in a deeper-rooted admiration and respect for him. His straight-talking, which I used to see as a flaw, is a real asset to our business. His transparent, clear, succinct way of talking ensures that he communicates plainly, distinctly and concisely with our clients. They don’t need (or want) lots of fluff and noise. when they’re sorting their insurance

Richard is much less excitable and emotional than me. I used to see this as a lack of interest. When a friend would share an upsetting incident with us I would listen with great care and concern, offering hugs and tea and comfort and sharing tears. Richard would listen silently, then come up with a proactive way forward. I’ve learned that while he is less prone to displaying emotion, he is equally as caring and has a great deal of concern for others.

Some of the times I’ve been proudest of him are when we’ve had phone calls from clients to report distressing incidents that require a claim. I’ve heard him listen and clarify, I’ve heard him counsel and direct. In response, I’ve heard the voices at the other end of the phone go from high and panicked to slow and steady. And, when appropriate, he’ll even pop by a local client and dispense a hug, or pop the kettle on and be a listening ear. My attributes are valuable in a friend. His attributes are invaluable in an insurance broker!

On the other hand, my visible and evident interest in others communicates our community-ethos more clearly to our circle. My networking and connecting has helped quickly build our reputation while supporting other organisations to grow and thrive and develop positive connections within our network. Our very different skills and character complement each other to drive forward our shared values and business objectives. Differences that once were a frustration and now our greatest asset!

It ain’t all a bed of roses!

Why do I work from home when we have a fantastic 4 person office with a spare work station all set up and ready for me to get down to business?! Because, while Richard and I work REALLY well together, we do not work at ALL well together… if we are in the same place! I work best in tidy and ordered environments while Richard likes to lay his work out in different piles, strewn across the office. I like to have background music playing while he prefers to work in silence. He is on and off the phone throughout the day, which I find very distracting.

We worked out very early on that, in order to avoid unnecessary distraction and in order to optimise on our different approaches, we needed to work separately. Interestingly, we’ve talked to several different husband and wife teams who have come up with the same arrangement. Perhaps my dad’s acquaintance hadn’t tried working in separate offices!

(In) security

For most of my life I was horrified by the idea of self-employment- the idea of being so financially vulnerable seemed very reckless to me! One of our first business meetings happened to be with an independent financial advisor. I mentioned this risk aversion to him and he answered with a really perspective-shifting response: “You’ve never been so secure. You’ve never been in so much control. You could have walked in to your last job any given day and received a redundancy notice or your company might have folded. Now, it’s all in your hands. Work hard and do a good job, and you’ll be safe and secure.”

This was enormously helpful for me! I knew that Richard has the insurance broking skills and experience to offer our clients an excellent service. I knew that I would work my hardest to learn how to build, develop and support the business and I knew that we are both innovative and creative enough to overcome the challenges we face. Launching a business together didn’t seem as vulnerable all of a sudden. A few months later, when it became clear I couldn’t keep moving forward with my business development role while maintaining my other part time job, I found it exhilarating to take the bold step of stepping into the business full time and relying solely on Talbot Jones Risk Solutions to support our family.

Working together as a duo means that when we go on holiday the office is left unattended. For us, the solution is simply to pop a divert on to the phone, and out of office message on our emails, and work continues with core business carried out remotely from a Carribean beach (or, more likely, a campsite in Northumberland!)

The verdict

Launching a business with my spouse was the scariest but most rewarding decsison I’ve ever made. But it’s proved to have brought us together, increased our appreciation for each other and increased our feelings of security. So, now I’ve given you my perspective on what it’s like to work with your partner, what does Ricahrd have to say?:

“It’s just grand”

See! Told you he’s a man of few words!

 

Click here to read more about Richard and Clare’s journey into self-employment or here for our Insurance Love Story.

Talbot Jones Risk Solutions is an insurance brokerage specialising in supporting SMEs and Charities. Contact us if your organisation would value a free insurance review from a community-focussed, ethical, highly-qualified, professional firm.